Ah, dating. A never-ending revolving door of Hinge matches, awkward meetings, and a few fun hangs that may or may not end with a ghost. Rinse and repeat about a zillion times, and you may find a lasting connection.
With so many cannabis fans looking for love, it’s likely the topic could come up quickly once a Bumble thread begins. It’s so common that many dating apps have opted to let users self-report their penchant for pot right alongside their attitudes toward alcohol and tobacco.
Let’s say the convos move past the witty banter and GIFs into a legit IRL meet-u. For regular consumers, there’s a good possibility that cannabis could make an appearance. But just like so many things in the dating scene, you need to be prepared (stay tuned for expert advice).
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As a weed writer who spent a substantial amount of time in the dating pool, the plant would inevitably enter the chat on almost every first date. I hate to admit it, but it often crashed the party.
It was pretty much always the same story:
We would meet up at some random bar or cafe. Careers would be discussed, with many people intrigued that one could make a living solely on cannabis journalism.
“Yeah, I smoke weed,” the guys would often say.
Oftentimes, I would find myself searching in my bag for a dab pen or joint not long after. My counterpart would predictably try to match my energy. It wouldn’t be long until the vibe shifted, and my date would enter some sort of paranoia-induced existential crisis leading to an abrupt exit.
It was a tale as old as time.
When I would recount story after story to my friends, they often chided me.
“Rachelle, your weed isn’t like other weed. You should know better than to share.”
This was a notion I would immediately reject, putting the blame back on the person who may or may not know their limits. The concept of male ego and wanting to appear as “someone who could hang” would also be discussed—another fact I’d also dismiss.
Thankfully, I eventually met a cannabis farmer at a local industry networking night who could consume even more than me. A match made in green heaven.
Recalling my dating experiences, my attitudes have shifted slightly. I understand now that as a steward of the plant, it’s my responsibility to model responsible consumption—even if my companions swear they know what they’re doing.
So, for the cannabis fans who are still searching for their special someone, here are my suggestions.
Safety first
The majority of people would agree that safety should be a top priority when entering the dating pool. In most cases, you’re literally getting together with a stranger you met on the internet. There are ways to increase security, like checking out a person’s background and telling friends exactly where you’ll be and at what time.
Integrating psychoactive substances should receive the same care and concern. In addition to how it may change your thinking, you also don’t know where another person’s stash came from so sticking to your own stash may be a good idea until you suss things out.
It goes without saying, but those in prohibition states should also exercise caution. Be careful what you say in messages and what’s in your possession on dates. While unlikely to be a thing, you don’t want things coming back to haunt you, especially if the relationship turns south.
If craft cocktails are on the menu, maybe think twice before getting cannabis in the mix. Getting “cross-faded” is a thing and can lead to unfortunate events where someone gets sick on your sofa (or so I’m told…).
Take it slow
With dating, you don’t want to rush into things. The same can be said about cannabis. If there’s a chance the plant could change the energy of your encounter, it may be good to save it. People are often nervous on first dates, and for some, cannabis could make it worse.
There are exceptions to every rule, of course. Many folks find bud calms them down and would prefer a toke to settle their first-date jitters. And if both people list “high” as a baseline, picking up a pre-roll at a local dispensary could be a great way to break the ice.
My current partner invited me to a hybrid apple orchard-hemp farm for our first date. We both knew it was inevitable that some of that flower would be consumed at some point.
Remember that relationships with the plant vary
Being a cannabis consumer can mean many things to many people. For some, it’s dabbing throughout the day, starting alongside the morning coffee. For others, it’s eating half a gummy every few weeks during a quiet night in.
If you don’t know the extent of your date’s consumption, it may be a good idea to ask prior to busting out that Garlic Breath vape pen. Hopefully, your date will feel comfortable enough to be honest, and this can help you navigate the impending sesh.
Pay attention
Once cannabis has shown up on a date, it’s important to monitor yourself and your companion. Check in on how you both feel physically and mentally.
Hopefully, the plant made the encounter even better. But If it seems like someone is having a less-than-stellar time, make it known that it’s alright. Expressing empathy and vulnerability is a good thing—something any mature adult should want to see and practice.
The world of dating can be a messy place, but cannabis has the potential to make it better. Or, at the very least, tolerable. Hopefully, stories like mine are the exception and not the norm. Follow the tips above, and you’re far more likely to set yourself—and your date—up for success.
