We all know the importance of a good name, but few have harnessed the power of nomenclature quite so well as the cannabis industry.
As cannabis becomes increasingly normalized in the U.S., cannabis businesses are getting creative with their marketing. Gone are the days when the educated smoker chose only between sativa or indica. Now, thanks to the competitive market, cannabis connoisseurs can chose from a diverse and scintillating variety of hybrid strains with slick, conversation-starting names guaranteed to make you sound interesting.
These hybrid strains are a lot like hybrid dogs. Think of sativa as a poodle and indica as a golden retriever. Put them together, and you get a goldendoodle. Which sounds cooler? You tell us.
Now, let’s be real: There’s not a lot of science backing the idea that strains actually have the unique, consistent effects many sellers advertise. Nevertheless, these names are dope.
We compiled the nine best-named strains on the market.
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1. Electric Banana on Fire
A blend of Banana OG and Hell Face of Fire, this sativa-dominant strain actually smells like bananas. We’re just waiting for a band of the same name to drop their first album.
2. Peanut Butter Breath
So good you can almost taste it, this 50% indica, 50% sativa blend of Mendo Breath and Do-Si-Dos is known for its sedative effect. It is also one of a few strains you can talk about in front of your mom without getting questions.
3. Tahoe Abduction
Based on Tahoe OG and Alien Abduction, this sardonically-named, indica-dominant hybrid is marketed as a muscle and joint relaxer.
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4. Where’s My Bike
A blend of Amnesia and Biker Kush, this sativa-dominant strain is said to produce a euphoric, heady high that can help with stress-management. We’d rather you not have to test that, though, so lock your bike before trying this strain.
5. Crouching Tiger Hidden Alien
This indica-dominant hybrid is a combination of Tiger’s Milk and Starfighter. Anxiety-inducing name aside, this strain is known for producing a powerful, full-body sedation perfect for insomniacs.
6. Chuck Norris Black and Blue Dream
Named for the legendary actor and martial artist Chuck Norris, the heritage of this strain has been kept under wraps by its very secretive breeder. Whatever is in it seems to be working, though – users say it’s as strong as Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick.
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7. Bob Saget OG (AKA “The Bob”)
Rumor has it that the name of this classic strain evolved when a scribbled plant tag looked like it said “SAGET,” surname of the host of “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” rather than “SAGE x,” and it stuck. Known to reduce pain and produce an intense euphoria, a few puffs of this sativa-dominant blend of Pre-98 Bubba Kush and the Afghani strain will likely generate some funny home videos of your own.
Fun fact: The Bob won second place in the 2016 Colorado Cannabis Cup.
8. Barack O Bubba
It’s a bit ironic to name a cannabis strain for a commander-in-chief who launched a government crackdown on medical marijuana dispensaries during his administration… especially when it happens to be a favorite strain for those using cannabis medicinally. Nevertheless, users say the full-body buzz produced by this indica-dominant cross between West Coast Dawg and Old World Pakistani Kush is as relaxing as the former president’s voice.
9. Alaskan Thunderfuck (ATF)
Arguably the most infamous strain name of all, ATF is an old and mystical sativa-dominant hybrid from Alaska’s Matanuska Valley. No one exactly knows the heritage of this strain, but legend says it was originally a cross between Northern California Sativa and Russian ruderalis, and was later bred with the Afghani strain. Whatever the case may be, users report the strong, euphoric effect of this strain will make you feel as powerful as a crass Yukon explorer in a thunderstorm.
Elissa Esher is Assistant Editor at GreenState. Her work has also appeared in The Boston Guardian, Brooklyn Paper, Religion Unplugged, and Iridescent Women. Send inquiries and tips to email@example.com.