Walking into a dispensary for the first time can feel a little like stepping into an alternate universe—one where everyone else already knows the language. Indica, sativa, terpenes, THC percentages…meanwhile, you’re just trying not to accidentally buy the wrong thing.
Budtenders have seen it all.
RELATED: The one question some cannabis consumers can’t shake
At the Mr. Nice Guy dispensary in Costa Mesa, the staff shared some of the funniest, most confusing, and surprisingly relatable questions they hear on the daily. Of course, behind every “weird” question is usually someone just trying to figure weed out in real time. But they’re still pretty hilarious.
Here are some of our favorites.
Question: “What’s the strongest thing you got?”
Response: “This is a classic, especially in a culture that has prioritized high-THC strains. Strength matters, sure, but so does tolerance, setting, and what you actually want to feel. ‘Strongest’ isn’t always ‘best.’”
“I don’t wanna feel high…what’s the strongest weed you have with no THC?”
“What this usually means: they’re looking for something relaxing without the psychoactive effects. Translation: you probably want a CBD or a low-THC product.”
“Can you guarantee I won’t get anxiety?”
“If only. Cannabis isn’t one-size-fits-all, and budtenders aren’t fortune tellers. But they can point you toward lower doses, balanced ratios, and strains known for calmer effects.”
RELATED: The overlooked factor making some weed better than others
“When is 4/20?”
“A question, a state of mind, a lifestyle. Also…April 20th.”
“Is this going to smell like weed?”
“Short answer: yes. Longer answer: Some products are more discreet than others, but cannabis is rarely good at being invisible.”
“I wanna feel high, but I don’t want to look high.”
“We respect the ambition. This usually leads to conversations about dosing, edibles versus flower, and how to keep things subtle.”
“What’s a strain?”
“This is a great question. Strains are basically different varieties of cannabis, each with its own flavor, aroma, and effects. Everyone starts somewhere.”
RELATED: One celebrity cannabis brand is crushing the competition
“Do you sell weed?”
“Okay, no judgment. Sometimes brains just…buffer.”
“Can I give this to my dog?”
“When asking this question, always err on the side of NO. Pets and THC do not mix. Always check with a vet before giving animals anything cannabis-related.”
“I want an indica that won’t make me sleepy.”
“While indicas are often associated with relaxation, effects vary widely. This is where budtenders shine, helping dial in what you actually want.”
“I need something that will make me clean my house.”
“If dispensaries sold motivation in a jar, we’d all be unstoppable. Still, certain uplifting strains might get you closer to ‘productive with a playlist.’”
At the end of the day, there are no bad questions, just people navigating a still-new (and often confusing) industry. Budtenders aren’t just there to sell you weed: they’re translators, guides, and occasionally therapists for your very specific vibe goals.
So, ask away. Chances are, they’ve heard weirder.